Carnies, Hypnosis, and Heads on a Stick

I bet that got EVERYONE's attention...Let me explain.

Last week I went to the Fair. Apparently now the PC name is the County Fair. But, as a former DMF employee (high school), I can't handle that kind of paradigm shift. No I was not a carnie, contrary to popular belief.

Several years ago I swore off the Fair. Something about it just wasn't a good time anymore. Maybe it was the whole fam trying to figure out the logistics of who wants to go where and when (someone wanted to see animals, someone wanted ride roller coasters, etc). Maybe it was always having to coerce my little sister into doing what I wanted to do because for some odd reason the parents wouldn't let us run off alone. Something about the caliber of people, going to get kidnapped, yadda yadda yadda. I don't know. Everybody at the fair looked pretty upstanding to me. Except the one year when a gang shooting shut it down early.

I decided to try the Fair again this year, thinking maybe the nostalgia of a childhood spent there would make it worth a trip. I was shocked to discover that the Fair, with just adults, is SO MUCH FUN!!! Just eating, hanging out, watching the hypnotist. Only once did I miss the good old days when I saw a lady trying to fit her twins in a double stroller through a narrow doorway. Not that I don't love kids, but it was so much less hectic! And we only stayed for 5 hours, instead of the 10 I would routinely pull off as a child in the ride zone. I feel like I owe my parents an apology for all the times I made them stay until the Fair closed so I could get in "one more ride." Funny how being an adult gives me a different persective. (Yes, I did just call myself an adult.)

All in all, a surprisingly relaxing little afternoon. We saw lots of fun livestock, including piglets in an enclosure modeled after The Three Little Pigs. We even saw Kenny Loggins in concert to end a perfect day. Everyone sang along to the Pooh Corner song (much to my dismay since that song creeps me out), and I realized I kind of like Kenny. I think we were the only people under 45 in the whole grandstand (with the exception of Hayley+entourage), but we LOVED it! "Even though we ain't got money..." C'mon I know you are all singing along in your heads.

I guess you are probably all wondering about the head on a stick. It really just made a good opening line, but we did see a man who bought some sort of souvenir that looked like a long walking stick with a shriveled head on the end. Who knows.

See pictures for me with my favorite food (churro), Bryan with his favorite animal (pigs), and Kenny on stage...

Pooltime!

I would like to introduce you all to my favorite little girl on the planet (outside my own sisters...who aren't really little anymore). This is Lilly. Lilly has been having parties with Josi, Darcie, and I since she was 2 months old. She used to sit at the table on someone's lap and laugh at the jokes during girl talk when she wasn't even old enough to crawl. We love being her honorary aunties when her real aunts aren't here. In fact, I got my only valentine this year from Lill.



When Lilly turned 1, her mom Hillary was a little concerned about her starting to talk. Lill learned to do sign language and started gaining a few words here and there. Well, I am happy to report (I know I may be the only one who gets excited about these things) that Lilly is well above age-appropriate with her speech/language now. Yesterday she turned to me while swimming in the pool and said "I love the swimming pool TODAY!" Then she exercised her complete control over all of us by giving me directions to go "this way" and then "that way" all over the pool. Now this is a child who loves the camera and the camera loves her...I was taking pictures of her at one point and then I stopped. The next thing I knew she was going to do some little trick and turned to me and said "Camera?" She wasn't going to do it until I took a picture of her.

Also, baby Owen is the newest addition to the family. He's pretty cute too. You'll see him with Auntie Jos. Lilly thinks he is her little doll which is pretty great to watch.

Hilarious. Love those kids. Check out the slideshow of our little princess at her pool party yesterday.

Tips and tricks for better Engagement photos...from an expert of course

It's wedding season everybody!!! And you know what that means, lots and lots of cute posed pictures hanging on my refrigerator. Now, for those of you who have never had an engagement photo taken I'm going to let you in on a little secret. There are some very serious rules one must follow. Above, my lovely models have agreed to demo a few surefire poses that will leave everyone smiling when they open your invitation. Disclaimer: neither of the couples above are engaged (or even couples for that matter).

I will say that I found some reputable advice on the internet, but none lived up to my expectations. I don't think any are tailored to the LDS community...Which is, as we know, one of the only cultures to send out a photo with every announcement. So, I decided to make my own.

Let's give the top 10 tips, David Letterman style:
10. Always wear matching outfits
9. Two options for backgrounds: beach or hay bales. Take your pick.
8. Make sure you spend plenty of time in a tanning booth right before the pictures.
7. NEVER EVER wear your hair in a style you would on a normal day, that would be so weird.
6. Poses where the man is using his brute strength are always pluses (as demo'd in #3 above).
5. Never use a candid shot. Instead use a posed shot that looks candid.
4. If possible, print the picture directly on vellum for the announcement. People love vellum.
3. Always photoshop out what you don't like from the landscape. Don't worry that you have now created a fictional place. And also, don't forget to use photoshop on yourselves.
2. It is imperative you take at least one shot of someone popping up behind the other/on the other's back. Usually this is the girl, but hey if you guys want to ride piggyback... (#1 and #2 above)
1. ALWAYS ALWAYS show the ring.

Disclaimer #2: No one currently on my fridge has made any of these mistakes...But after years as a YSA I've seen it all.

Mysteries of Male Behavior

To begin this post I would like to quote from my favorite British heroine, Georgia Nicolson of Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging fame (calm down, its young adult lit)--

"If a boy says 'See you later,' it might mean 'Leave me alone, it was great while it lasted but I am not ready for anything more serious,' or it might mean 'See you later.'"

There are a few mysteries of male behavior I have recently noted. Maybe some qualified and loyal readers of my blog can enlighten us all on the following inexplicable habits:

1)Packing away dirty laundry when moving--it smells 10 times worse when you get there

2)Rubbing their sweat on other humans as a joke

3)Wearing black tube socks with sneakers

4)Fighting.

I will here explore the research on fighting. It is a male habit that I truly do not understand. I know that you all believe that it is gallant and all, especially if you are fighting in my behalf. I assure you it is not. And I am not the only one who thinks this. Seeing men fight gives me that awkward feeling in my stomach like I just want to hide my eyes and run away. Let's see what the world wide web has to teach us on the subject:

At the Answer Bank website, a highly educated blogger wrote: "Like many things in life I think man (as a species) is much more an animal than we believe. Many things we do in life are deeply routed in our minds and fighting is one of those things. Back when man had to 'fight' for every last scrape of food he needed to be able to defend himself and his tribe/group. At times we go back to these old habits..."

A REAL article from the The Sydney Morning Herald by Michael Flood informs us that male on male violence is the most common form of public violence. But there's good news for those of us who can't stand the fighting..."As long as a culture of aggression and male honour persists, violence will continue to happen, and men (and women) will be injured and killed. Violence experienced by women has received widespread public attention, and rightly so. But the routine violence between men is rarely the subject of public debate. The good news is that traditional definitions of manhood, based on bravado and aggression, seem to be declining. With the rise of “sensitive new age guys”, involved fathers and even “metrosexuals”, we’re seeing a shift to a more peaceful and respectful male role. But too many men are still caught up in the fiction that you have to be “10 feet tall and bulletproof” to be a real man." Thank goodness for metrosexuals is all I have to say...Changing the world one stylist at a time.

And for those of you out there who feel like you don't fight well enough (because obviously, based on this blog, girls love it), you can order several instructional tapes on how to fight at http://www.dirtyfighting.com/.

Q: Is everyone wearing all white to the wedding...?

And other such tales of adventure (see below for the answer). Don't worry, no wedding here...Just an infamous quote of nonsense. Believe me, it makes as much sense to you as it did to me.

This has been the week of the Torrey Pines, as I am now calling it. I was there 3 times this week. Props to all who accompanied me on the adventures, each one was different and special. Checking out the sunset, hiking, or running, it is a spectacular little place. Not to mention that it is named after the rare Torrey Pine tree, native to coastal Southern California. I do think 3 times in one week is some kind of record though, maybe I'll ask Guiness what they can do for me.

San Diego has officially been invaded by tourists. Sayonara easygoing days at the beach and simple bonfires. Last night we had to bring our own pit to the beach because there was some sort of convention going on there (not really but it looked like it). I'm glad that every other person on the planet enjoys my city as much as I do, but I'm also glad they only come for 3 months out of the year. Sea World on Memorial Day weekend (I know what you are thinking, "no you DIDN'T!!!") is enough to make anyone a hermit until September.

Also, tonight I saw a presentation about the Dead Sea Scrolls. It was very interesting and enlightening but I came out of there with one very burning random question (those of you who know me well will not be surprised): HOW IN THE WORLD DO THEY UNROLL THOSE THINGS? Once I tried to unroll a piece of art I did in kindergarten and it practically fell apart. And that certainly was not stored in a ceramic jar for thousands of years. Can't wait to see them live and in living color.

I think I am out of random topics right now. Coming soon, an entire post devoted to the art of sushi in a plush booth...Stay tuned.

(A: Only if you are getting married on a Puff Daddy video)